I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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