I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
