I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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