is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
