Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
