I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
