Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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