dude i'm inner monologue high
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
