In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
