oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
