Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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