stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
