Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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