Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
