my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
