I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
