i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
