Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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