never play flip cup with pint glasses
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
