i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
