i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
