Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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