Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Enjoy the penises
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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