the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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