just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
