Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
