i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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