Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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