There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so let's talk penis.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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