4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize
