Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
