Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
