You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
smell my finger.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
