Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
