Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Less talking, more tequila
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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