So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
