i just google imaged poop.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
