I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize