Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
