He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
