Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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