At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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