Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
