is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
