And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
