I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
