We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
