So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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