One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
