I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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