An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
